Book Outtakes

Today was just one of those days Chuck decided to make my life miserable; after the tortuous walk home, he barraged me with nary a second of peace, including standing next to me and repeatedly howling like a wolf. Just before I was about to snap and drag him to the closest bodega backroom to enter him in a cockfight, I finally got my revenge:

“Rats, what’s this say?” (Pointing out a dinosaur from book)

“I dunno, I can’t see.”

“It’s (sloooooooowly sounding out each letter with his finger) S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“What?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“I’m sorry, what’s that?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“I missed that, say it again?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“What?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“What?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“What?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“Huh?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“I’m sorry, what?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“What?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

“I’m sorry, what’s that?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C……H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“I missed that, say it again?”

“S…..T….E….O….N….Y…..C…… (suddenly eyes me suspiciously for a second, goes back to reading) H….O…..S….A…U……..R…..U….S.”

(Beat)

“What?”

HA!

WILLIAMSBURG RATS

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