Music Class

“‘Go get a drum, lil’ buddy! Go get one so we can play! Go on, lil’ buddy!’
He was having none of it. I pleaded, I prodded, I prodded some more; I prodded with some swearing through gritted teeth that no one else could hear. Nothing was working.”

Date Night

“Then again, what the hell did I care – the plan was that I’d just do my “picking away at it with my fork” routine, which of course would make her think I was some light, dainty guy accustomed to eating sprigs of parsley with almond drizzle and not a three hundred pound lummox covered in sweat from using the salt shaker. I’m surprised I didn’t plant a sleeve of Pringles in the bathroom behind the toilet to inhale on the sly throughout dinner.”

The reviews are still rolling in!!!!

“Sorry, I’m driving into a tunnel.” – Rolling Stone

“I’m almost to the part about music class.” – Alex Safchuk, aka Poptop

“Sometimes you write a book without even trying to. Sometimes those books are the very best ones. That’s not quite the case this one however.” – Peter Boyd, Northern Neck News


A review!

The first Amazon review is in!

This was a surprisingly touching memoir, with many hilarious and self deprecating moments that will resonate with any guy who has felt like somehow he isn’t running the same race as everyone else. Well done.”

Early Days

“Meanwhile, after all my sweating and worrying I’d walk out the door at the end of the day and the kid would be in the exact same spot and sitting position he’d started out in the morning when I showed up.  He hadn’t moved, he hadn’t gotten into anything, he hadn’t somehow lured rattlesnakes or wolverines into the house.  Nothing.  Chuck’s absolute indifference flew in the face of my own panic – hell, the kid probably hadn’t even noticed I’d been there all goddam day.”


“But if I was to be with Chuck until September, the second-biggest chunk in my résumé would actually be as a Manny, and while being a Manny made for interesting conversation at dinner parties, listing ‘am rarely caught without a bag of cheddar Goldfish handy’ as a marketable job skill was not likely to get too many companies hot and bothered to call me in for an interview.”